Go Ahead.....Take it! I Dare You

12/17/10

I suspect you’ve done it.  Taken a decision that isn’t yours to take.  It’s both disconcerting and invigorating all at the same time.  I was at a small holiday dinner last night and was reminded of a situation that happened to me a few years ago where I was the beneficiary of someone doing just that.

I had invited a few people to my favorite steakhouse in all the world (Del Frisco’s at 49^th and 6^th in Manhattan).  Of course, I had been there many times, but it was the first time for my three guests.  Everything started out perfectly – great table, service was attentive; the anticipation of great food; all the elements for a wonderful evening.  The appetizers were perfect – oysters and world famous crab cakes, along with a great bottle of wine.  Unfortunately – that is where the evening took a turn for the worse.  The entrée orders were messed up.  No big deal – easy to fix.  But…..guess what?  It was messed up for a second time.  When I asked to see the Service Manager, I calmly explained what had happened and fully expected him to do what he was authorized to do: buy us a drink and ‘comp’ us dessert.  But he didn’t do that.  He stepped outside his bounds of authority.  He told me that he could imagine how embarrassed I was, and that he would really appreciate it if we could do a complete do-over.  He ‘comped’ us the entire meal, wine – everything; and asked us to please come back soon.

You see – too many times in our day to day lives, we are confronted with knowing what the right thing to do is, but we don’t have the authority or responsibility to make it happen (even though we have the ability).  And so many times (not always - to be sure), if we just did it, if we just made it happen, well – the results are remarkable and you really set yourself apart from the herd.

That’s what happens when you are willing and prepared to take responsibility rather than wait to be given responsibility; when you are willing and prepared to ask for forgiveness rather than wait for permission.

I have been back to that steakhouse many times, with many people, since the evening above – and the manager who took care of me is still there – and thriving.  For sure, he had to explain to his boss why he did what he did – but no matter, because he knew what the right thing to do was….

 

(see “A Million and One Ways to be One-in-a-Million”; Chapter3 – Luke…..Use the Force)

I Object to the Objective

12/09/10

It’s all too prevalent.  What is amazing about it is that it comes at us from everywhere.  CEOs; Wallstreet bankers; politicians; sports stars and teams; the list goes on and on – and we even do it ourselves.  And I really don’t think that it has always been this way –

You’ve seen examples of it:

• CEOs who have the objective of raising the share price of their company
• Wallstreet bankers who have an objective of getting a big bonus
• Republicans who want to make sure Obama is a one-term president
• Sports stars who want to negotiate a landmark contract

These are all outcomes – they aren’t objectives.  And I think, because of this, we lose our way.  Think about it just for a minute.  Let’s take the CEO example.  A CEO’s objectives should be to create a healthy company: where market share, revenue, and profitability are on the rise; where, as a company, they are good community citizens; where they pay attention to health and safety, and create an environment where people want to work.  If a CEO has those as objectives, and achieves them – guess what?  Yep – the share price will rise (at least relative to market terms).  So what’s the problem with outcomes as objectives?  It leads us astray.  We short circuit the true objectives to try to deliver the outcome.  And you can actually see that in all of the examples above.  Nothing brings this point home more than some politicians who refuse to govern and do their jobs – just because they have an objective of making the current President “one and done”.

Unfortunately as well – most of us do it ourselves.  We want to keep our jobs; we want a promotion; we want more money.  There is a great line in a movie I like.  The actor playing the President of the United States says “I was so busy trying to keep my job, I forgot to do my job”.  So let’s all remember this:  Wanting an outcome to happen isn’t bad (in fact it is actually a good motivator) – but understand what objectives need to be achieved in order to make the outcome happen – and be true to those objectives.

 

(see “A Million and One Ways to be One-in-a-Million”; Chapter 2 – The Gift and Chapter 5 – A Stitch in Time)

I'm All Aglow.....

11/18/10

OK – as if I haven’t experienced enough delays with U.S. Customs and Border Protection:  I’m flying back to NY from Toronto and finally it’s my turn to talk to the CBP Officer.  We exchange pleasantries and his pager starts to beep.  He looks down to his belt to check it; pushes a button; it stops for a second but then starts to beep again.  I’m about to tell him “go ahead – respond if you must” and he says to me – “Have you had any medical tests lately?”  Ooops!  Yes.  Nuclear Stress Test just over a week ago (don’t ask me why I had to have a stress test – I have no stress in my life).  He shuts down his booth and tells me he needs to escort me to secondary screening.  But wait – I have to catch a flight!!  Well, twenty minutes later and none the worse for wear – I’m headed to my gate.

So what’s the point of all of this?  Surely you’ve heard or read about the controversy surrounding the new TSA screening procedures.  In many airports you either have to submit to the “peek through your clothes” X-ray machine or be subjected to a more thorough pat down.   It seems that the majority of people (about 80% of those polled) are willing to accept these new protocols in the interest of safety – but those who don’t accept them are making quite a fuss.  So much so that there are congressional hearings on the new procedures.  This is a classic situation of what I call “sucking and blowing at the same time”.  We either need to accept the intrusion of this additional means of security – or accept more risk in air travel (a well established high risk activity).  And I suspect that the very same people who are saying don’t invade my privacy and don’t inconvenience me, would also say – AND – you’d better ensure my safety.  You see – they want it both ways – but you can’t have it both ways.  And although this definitely relates to making choices – what I really want to talk about this week is the concept of “nice and soft”.  Too many people confuse and even equate nice with soft.

Entwined in this issue, I witnessed a great example of someone being nice – but definitely not being soft.  It was a tape of the head of the TSA, John Pistole, being grilled by the Senate Homeland Security and Government Affairs Committee.  During the questioning he was courteous, respectful, forthright, and even understanding.  And when one of the members stated – you say you understand, but something tells me nothing is going to change; Mr. Pistole responded basically as follows (I’m paraphrasing a little bit) – ‘Let me be clear.  I understand the issues people have with privacy both in terms of the x-rays and the pat downs.  But it is my job to ensure passenger safety in a high risk environment – and the new policies we have put in place help to accomplish that and will not change.’  He was not soft or wishy-washy (think of how easy it would have been to be wishy-washy: OK Senator/Congressman, I’ll review the policies and see what changes I can make.)  He was clear; he was firm; and he was nice.  A great real-life model for all to emulate.

(see “A Million and One Ways to be One-in-a-Million”; Chapter 2 – The Gift and Chapter 8 – You Always Have Choices!)

Ostrich Leadership

11/10/10

No I haven’t lost it and I’m not thinking of starting an Ostrich Farm.  I’m talking about the “riots” in London today over the planned tripling of tuition rates.  Who is right here?  And is this just a case of not managing expectations well?  On its surface – for sure it is.  I mean after all – who wouldn’t react in the extreme to an unplanned increase of this magnitude. 

But let’s think about it a bit deeper.  This crisis of the British government’s inability to subsidize (aka pay for) a system that provides a great service is not a crisis that was unpredictable.  Indeed, I would suggest to you that political leaders there saw this situation coming years ago – but adopted the “Ostrich Leadership Protocol”: stick your head in the sand and hope the issue goes away.  And so what you have is not so much a crisis created by not managing expectations, rather it is a crisis created by being unwilling to take a tough decision when a tough decision needed to be made.

This is completely analogous to the fiscal crisis that hit the US automotive industry.  Big auto companies agreed to pension and benefit enhancements years ago that were predictably, a ticking time-bomb.  But….no leader was willing to take a tough decision and deal with the issue in a timely manner.  And we all know the result.

In fact, I believe that many “burning platforms”, in business; in politics; in life; and even literally in reality (the infamous Deep Water Horizon), is usually the result of Ostrich Leadership rather than an unplanned catastrophe.  It is the result of a person in a position of responsibility being unwilling to make a tough choice.  Instead, they become paralyzed; they rely on hope and wait for something extraneous to alter the situation.  Not a good plan.

So…..Whether in your role in business, or in life – when you anticipate the approach of a “burning platform” – by all means look for solutions; engage in discussion with others who have a stake; and seek assistance.  But…..if a solution isn’t evident: Don’t go Ostrich!  Remember that hope is not a strategy and be prepared to make a tough choice.

(see “A Million and One Ways to be One-in-a-Million”; Chapter 8 – You Always Have Choices!)

Let's be Intolerant of Intolerance

11/5/10

Well…..do you think all the craziness is over?  I really hope so – but I don’t think so.  With the elections decided (well – most of them anyway), many of the politicos are now talking about “bi-partisanship” and “working together” to solve the serious problems. But will they really?  Or is it just a means to an end.

It seems to me that “intolerance” has become a belief system.  It’s my way or the highway.  If you don’t think the way I think on a particular issue then you’re wrong and I’m right, and I’m good and you’re evil.  And while it is way too prevalent throughout our society, politics has become the poster-child for intolerance.  It worries me – because intolerance breeds hate, and hate is the genesis for bad things to happen.  Think about this for a minute – in the entire history of the world, every single atrocity against humankind has been rooted in intolerance. 

I recently went out to dinner with a good friend of mine and he told me a story about his wife and her sister-in-law being on opposite sides of a very emotional and intense issue.  The issue touched their lives and one of them was put in a position of needing to make a decision based on her beliefs (it was no longer something hypothetical!).  Guess what?  They didn’t hate each other, they didn’t think each other evil – they agreed to disagree, and carried on.  My friend told me that they are every bit as close and care every bit as much for each other as they ever did.

So why can’t our politicians, our religious leaders, and even our business leaders operate that way.  They seem to have forgotten about caring and respect for each other.  They seem to have forgotten that it is ok to agree to disagree.  WE need to make sure that this is a requirement for any of those jobs…..

(see “A Million and One Ways to be One-in-a-Million”; Chapter 10 – A Final Word)

The Best Defense is a Good Offense

10/27/10

What a messy NFL season huh?  There is no team that is dominating, and there certainly aren’t many teams that are living up to expectations.  Cowboys; Jets; Giants; Colts; Patriots (the list goes on and on) are all underperforming.

Speaking of not performing to expectations – I had occasion last week to provide some guidance and counsel to a friend of mine.  He described a situation where his manager had prepared a performance summary and “ambushed” him with it.  My friend went on the offensive – and provided more detail, context, and background to the manager.  His manager seemingly capitulated for the most part, and even indicated they would not file the review as it had been prepared.  And they all lived happily ever after right??  Not so fast.

I told him – this has all the earmarks of a “leave alone – whack!”  What is a “leave alone – whack!” he asked.  Weak managers (and there are far too many weak managers in the corporate world) all too often rely on the “leave alone – whack!” methodology.  They sit in isolation, occasionally taking feedback from those who may have other axes to grind, and come to conclusions based on at best superficial, and often incorrect, observations.  They don’t possess the courage to confront situations as they occur, and when they conduct the “ambush” – they are quick to smooth over ruffled feathers or even retreat all together – only to come along with a “whack!” at a later point in time (chances are – when it’s too late for the “whackee” to do anything about the disparagement that has occurred).

And while my friend demonstrated good offensive technique in the meeting – the offense needs to continue in order to avoid the “whack” from the weak manager.  How does one do that?  You need to manage the manager.  You should:

·         Memorialize the “ambush” meeting in detail, making sure to specify the outcomes;

·         Confirm with the manager that the initial performance note will not be filed as a performance review;

·         Establish with the manager that you want to be made aware, immediately, of any situations where he or she believes you have not performed to expectations; and

·         Start to keep your own file

And here’s the best part – today, because of the pervasiveness of e-mail, you can do this in a seemingly informal way – yet all the while create a very effective paper trail.

So you see – a good offense isn’t just about one play or one set of downs – it needs to be sustained over the course of the whole game – until you are winning handily.

 

(see “A Million and One Ways to be One-in-a-Million”; Chapter 6 – Give My Regards to Broadway and Chapter 3 – Luke, Use the Force)

Season's Greetings!

10/20/10

Wait a minute – Season’s Greetings?  It’s still more than a month ‘til Thanksgiving; more than two months until Christmas; Ramadan and the Jewish high holidays are a distant memory.  With the upcoming mid-term US elections – ok, it’s political season – but Season’s Greetings??

Speaking of the elections -- have you watched any of the election coverage?  Are you following any of the races?  If you are – then you know it:  What a freak show!  Can someone please give me a politician who will do the right thing versus the thing that gets him or her elected; who will do what’s good for the state/country/people versus what’s good for them; who will act non-partisan versus partisan or even bi-partisan; who will work for the quiet majority versus the screaming minority; who will listen to their heart versus listen to the pollsters.  Give me that politician – and I’ll give them my vote.  So what do all these attributes have in common?  Well, although it is a terrible indictment to say of politicians today -- these are behaviors that are unexpected.  These are behaviors that would separate this politician from the herd.

OK – so what does Season’s Greetings have to do with all of this.  Remember last week’s “One-in-a-Million” Minute?  It was about managing expectations.  Not this week.  This is about doing something that is totally unexpected.  You don’t expect Season’s Greetings right now.  And hopefully, because you didn’t’ expect it – it became unique versus routine.  (Think about it – two months from now a note with Season’s Greetings in the subject will be totally routine and mundane.  So to do something unexpected – you don’t even have to think about something new – it could be all about timing).

So here is what I would like you to do:  Sometime in the next week, do something unexpectedly nice for someone you care about.  It could be a child, your spouse or partner, a friend or colleague (and it doesn’t have to cost money – but it does cost you thought and effort because remember – it must be unexpected).  Then, pay attention to their reaction.  I guarantee you – they will begin to, even more than they already do, think of you as “One-in-a-Million”.

 

(see “A Million and One Ways to be One-in-a-Million”; Chapter 4 – The Art of Surprise)

Chilean Miners Rescued

10/14/10

Wow – what a heartening display of human tenacity, ingenuity, and courage.  All 33 miners rescued.  Remember back in early August when the story was unfolding?  When the miners were discovered alive yet trapped – first reports of a plan to rescue them indicated they wouldn’t be out until December!!  Then, once reached (two months early!), we were told it would likely take two days to get them all to the surface.  A mere day later, all 33 were safely in the hands of loved ones and aid givers.

To be sure – this is an excellent example of superior planning and execution – but it is also a remarkable example of managing expectations.  The team responsible for this complex and spectacular rescue operation managed the expectations of the entire world to a fare-the-well.

Now let’s just think about this for a minute – in the current situation, the entire team, indeed anyone involved in the rescue operation, are being heralded as heroes of course, but also as incredibly skilled, competent experts.  For a moment, just imagine our perspective if, even with the exact same outcome, the world were initially advised that the miners would be rescued within a month, and they didn’t get to them until October 12^th.  And imagine if we were told it would take 18 hours to get them all up – yet it took 24 hours.  For sure – we would have celebrated the rescuers as heroes – but we also would have thought they could have planned better, they could have executed better – because after all, they didn’t meet their self-established timelines.

This truly is managing expectations on a grand scale.  And it is something we should all pay very close attention to for ourselves, in our drive to succeed and be seen as “One-in-a-Million”.

(see “A Million and One Ways to be One-in-a-Million”; Chapter 4 – The Art of Surprise)